Saturday, October 24, 2009

The First Blog

It has been suggested to me by so many people that I start a blog. Well actually it's only been suggested to me by 2 people, and frankly I think it is because they are hoping that if I blog somewhere else I may have less "blogging" to do to them in person. So, this is the first "Blog". You will note that this from Cocktails and Holywater, but if you know anything about Kalyn Miles, you have probably already sensed my voice in the words of it. I have to apologize if I have just forced you to read the entire blog with my voice in your head, as I know I have a naturally sarcastic voice that, let's be honest, is also a bit man-ish.

I am never sure what the blog is supposed to say, and I feel this incredible pressure to make the blog hilarious. This is for two reasons. 1) I am arrogant enough to believe that if you, the reader, see the words Cocktails and Holywater, you will expect hilarity to ensue. 2) I am even more arrogant to believe that if you, the reader, know that Kalyn Miles is writing the Blog, than you will expect even more hilarity to ensue. Unfortunately I don't know that it has ensued either way.

But seriously, why blog? That's my question. Is it just the 21st centuries version of keeping a diary, only now we have at our finger tips the ability and technology to publish our entries for all the world to read? In the past it all seemed a little self involved to me, like if you have a computer your thoughts and ideas immediately become publishing quality, your experiences and outlooks are all of a sudden interesting enough for all the web to see. But looking back at the two half assed paragraph's I've spewed out in this alleged "blog" I think we can all agree that this is simply not true. I decided my blog needed some guide lines so to keep my audience invigorated. So I have some up with some C&H blog rules that I will leave you with, you can look them over and then decide if this is the blog for you.

1) This blog will contain at least two funny sentences or ideas.
2) This blog will be short. Or maybe it won't I don't know.
3) This blog is not just an informative ad for upcoming Cocktails and Holywater shows.
4) I will try really hard to maintain good spelling and ok-ish grammer things.
5) I will sometimes talk about things that no one else wants to say but everyone thinks, so that when you read it, you'll laugh out loud, hit your table or desk and then say "It's so true, it is so true."
6) Sometimes I will tell lies in order to be entertaining and funny. I may even tell your stories and pawn them off as my own.
7) I will never go traveling and then blog for 4 pages about some boring fucking experience I had trying to buy a mango at a Philipino Market...or a croissant in a bakery in France...because the only thing more yawn inducing than travel blogs are 300 travel pictures of your friends traveling in weird sandals and cargo shorts.
7a) There will be swear words in this blog.
8) I will not blog everyday.
9) I will only get really emotional and cry and make you feel so uncomfortable for knowing me 3 times in the next year...and when I do so I will put "*" at the top of the blog so you know what's coming.
10) I will always be naked when writing the blog. Unless you think I'm which case change "always" to "never" and we're all set.

So there it is, The First Blog. Except for the whole "Short blog" thing I think I followed all the rules. I hope you keep reading. But if you don't I can't say anything because honestly, there are so many blogs in my life that I never read.

Thursday, October 1, 2009